The Funny Thing About Open Relationships

Do I want an open relationship or do I want to want an open relationship?

Sometimes it feels like ‘open relationship’ is the foot that won’t get off my neck and I think it might be turning me on. Maybe.

The beard fixation of 2015 was great because I could grow one, it naturally contoured my face and it armed me with effortless (toxic?) masculinity.

The vers obsession of 2018 literally fucked me sideways and left me questioning my top and bottom sanity.

Today, the o.r. holleration has me stressing about how and when I’m going to tell my non-existent boyfriend (oomf that is 5 red states away) that I might want to be in an open relationship. Ugh, what if he brings it up first?!

According to my (unreliable) stats made up of Instagay Thots, Twitter Kings, Grindr and my close circle of misters, open relationships seem to be the queer north star.

In a 2019 article by psychotherapist Tom Bruett titled The Gay Monogramy Spectrum, Bruett discusses the types of relationships created outside of heteronormative coupling constructs and the findings of The Couples Study. The study found that 47% of gay men reported being in open relationships, 45% in monogamous, and 8% were unsure what type of relationship they were in.

Tom Bruett Therapy

I am 100% in the 8% and after watching Jimmy Fowlie’s hilarious YouTube short, Curtis and His Open Relationship, I’ve never been surer.

In the sketch comedy, Fowlie plays a gay named Curtis who is all about that open relationship life. That is until he realizes that he might not have the heart, confidence or stomach for it.

Watch Curtis and His Open Relationship:

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