The Art of Making Friends with Other Gay Men

I once heard a gay man say, “Trying to make friends with other gay men sometimes feels like sadomasochism.”

The first thought that crossed my mind upon hearing that was, “I’m pretty sure Oprah would consider that a Tweetable moment!

The second thought was, “Why is it so hard to make friends with other gay men?”

Self-deprecating humor aside, the majority of gay men really do struggle with cultivating authentic and meaningful friendships. There are many contributing factors as to why that is but often times navigating through them can be as complex as the answers themselves.

Matthew Dempsey is a gay psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, CA who has a popular YouTube channel that is primarily dedicated to discussing gay men’s mental health.

In the video titled, The Art of Gay Friending, Dempsey provides insight into the complexities surrounding friendships amongst gay men. More importantly, he provides practical advice, solutions, and ways to not only resolve but sustain friendships. The video also features friends of Dempsey who share their personal friendship stories and experiences with other gay men.

Gay Men Friends Matthew Dempsey

YouTube/Matthew Dempsey

“One of the biggest issues that a lot of gay guys come in to talk to me about in therapy is truly just feeling lonely and finding it really difficult to connect with other people,” says Dempsey in The Art of Friending.

The video explores and covers a wide range of topics that include:

– The implications that arise from growing up in a heteronormative society and the detrimental setbacks that are created as a result of it.

– Discovering what are the things that are important and necessary in order to connect with someone.

– Not mistaking acquaintances’ general pleasantries as authentic friendships.

– Knowing that it will take time to find the right people and having the patience to do so.

– Finding people who want to create friendships by connecting with those who are willing and able to follow-up.

– What makes it incredibly difficult for gay men to know how to connect and sustain those connections.

– What you can do to find and keep those connections.

Watch below to find the answers to these questions and more:

Featured gif: YouTube/Matthew Dempsey

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