The always creatively groundbreaking Buzzfeed thought it be real cute to get some semi-fuckable straight guys to ask some swipe-left gay guys questions
about life as a
human being gay guy because yaaassss mama!
The results could have been real fun had they not picked I’m-still-really-upset-HBO-canceled-Looking gays to answer the questions.
Had they bothered to ask this kween (& by this kween I mean me) these would have been my honest to Godney answers:
Heteros: How many buttholes have you seen?
MisterScandal.com: ummmm you know that’s a tough one, it really is because sometimes I don’t really know what I’m looking at. Like I think I’m suppose
to be looking at a bussy or as you like to call it a butthole but sometimes
it just doesn’t look correct. So around 486-ish, 352-ish if you minus the
WTF-is-that bussies (buttholes)
Heteros: Are there stereotypes that you identify with more than others?
MisterScandal.com: For sure. I would say I fall in the “mastering the perfect disinterested look – chastising bottoms that wear the exact outfits on the Zara/TopShop mannequins – believe Britney still slays, Lohan will have a comeback and Miley is this generations Freddy Mercury – claims to workout 5x week but only works out 1 1/2 days a week – total size queen” stereotype. Absolutely guuiiilllllttttyyyy!
Heteros: How are gay relationships different from straight relationships?
MisterScandal.com: straight relationships are Iggy Azalea & gay relationships are Nicki Minaj. Next question.
Heteros: How much porn did you watch that was
straight porn before you watched gay porn?
MisterScandal.com: Ewww gross gays watching gay porn is soooo 2000-whatever. I’m pretty sure gay porn’s only surving demo is straight girls from Kentucky. I only watch straight porn but I cover the girls vagina with my finger.
Heteros: Do gay guys worry about size as much as straight guys do?MisterScandal.com: Did Kylie Jenner get lips injections? Did Titanic hit an iceberg? Was the Simple Life the greatest show on television from 2003 – 2007? *insert side-eye emoji*
Heteros: Butthole maintenance, how is it for you?
MisterScandal.com: Nair & Clorox disinfecting wipes.
Heteros: Would you rather a smaller-than-average dick or a
MisterScandal.com: If you’re not going to take these questions serious than I’m done. You know what, actually I am done. I’m not doing this anymore. This interview is over. What kind of person asks a gay person if dick can ever be too big? You disgust me – sick.
Gif Courtesy: http://realitytvgifs.tumblr.com/