“I mean we were sport fucking for a while there cause that bitch likes to ride the ride!” – Dane Cook
& that Dane Cook one-liner just helped me remember why I wanted to fuck Dane Cook so bad in 2010! That Dane Cook one-liner also helped me remember that that’s how majority (actually, all) of my ex-boyfriends would describe me.
I fuckin love Workaholics so much because it’s like the most fun straight guys can have being gay without actually being gay! Except of course for that one episode where they woke-up covered in each others cum alluding to the fact that perhaps they most definitely engaged in lots of un-questionable gay stuff.
Workaholics season 6 premiered with it’s proper dose of homo-liciousness with a scene that could’ve legit been straight out of a Tumblr gay fan-fiction! Dane Cook has never looked more zaddy & Liam Hemsworth has never looked more …..random in a scene? Whatever, I’m totally here for Dane Cook &
Liam Hemsworth naked & sweaty together!
& just for the fuck of it, check-out NSFW Liam Hemsworth naked HERE & Dane Cook naked HERE
If I won the $1.5 billion powerball lottery, Nico Tortorella would definitely be on my Top 10 purchases right behind Tom Ford but for sure before Kylie Jenner’s entire collection of lace front wigs. That’s how much I fuckin LOVE Nico Tortella!
The only thing I love more than Nico Tortorella himself is Nico Tortorella’s Instagram. Aside from the obvious admiration of all the half-naked and sometimes completely naked pix, Tortorella’s Instagram has a too legit as fuck you-will-never-be-this-cool aesthetic with all the feels and vibes that yours will never have.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t try with
Nico’s 10 Tips on How to Beef-up your Instagram!
When you’re one of the world’s most beautiful power-bottom twinks who happens to be a filthy rich gold medal Olympic diver who’s recently engaged to an ageless 40-something-year-old Oscar winning zaddy, what else is there to accomplish
in life besides making Youtube videos where you get naked
and shower yourself with coffee!
UGH just hate how effortlessly adorable he is! Can’t wait for next week’s episode featuring Daley taking a shit naked to demonstrate the importance
of eating rich-in-fiber broccoli!
The always creatively groundbreaking Buzzfeed thought it be real cute to get some semi-fuckable straight guys to ask some swipe-left gay guys questions
about life as a human being gay guy because yaaassss mama!
The results could have been real fun had they not picked I’m-still-really-upset-HBO-canceled-Looking gays to answer the questions.
Had they bothered to ask this kween (& by this kween I mean me) these would have been my honest to Godney answers:
Heteros:How many buttholes have you seen? MisterScandal.com:ummmm you know that’s a tough one, it really is because sometimes I don’t really know what I’m looking at. Like I think I’m suppose to be looking at a bussy or as you like to call it a butthole but sometimes it just doesn’t look correct. So around 486-ish, 352-ish if you minus the WTF-is-that bussies (buttholes)
Heteros:Are there stereotypes that you identify with more than others? MisterScandal.com:For sure. I would say I fall in the “mastering the perfect disinterested look – chastising bottoms that wear the exact outfits on the Zara/TopShop mannequins – believe Britney still slays, Lohan will have a comeback and Miley is this generations Freddy Mercury – claims to workout 5x week but only works out 1 1/2 days a week – total size queen” stereotype. Absolutely guuiiilllllttttyyyy!
Heteros:How are gay relationships different from straight relationships? MisterScandal.com:straight relationships are Iggy Azalea & gay relationships are Nicki Minaj. Next question.
Heteros:How much porn did you watch that was straight porn before you watched gay porn? MisterScandal.com:Ewww gross gays watching gay porn is soooo 2000-whatever. I’m pretty sure gay porn’s only surving demo is straight girls from Kentucky. I only watch straight porn but I cover the girls vagina with my finger.
Heteros:Do gay guys worry about size as much as straight guys do?MisterScandal.com: Did Kylie Jenner get lips injections? Did Titanic hit an iceberg? Was the Simple Life the greatest show on television from 2003 – 2007? *insert side-eye emoji*
Heteros:Butthole maintenance, how is it for you? MisterScandal.com:Nair & Clorox disinfecting wipes.
Heteros:Would you rather a smaller-than-average dick or a
way-too-big-to-do-anything-with dick? MisterScandal.com:If you’re not going to take these questions serious than I’m done. You know what, actually I am done. I’m not doing this anymore. This interview is over. What kind of person asks a gay person if dick can ever be too big? You disgust me – sick.